Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
