i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
