yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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