I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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