even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
