At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
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I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
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lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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