The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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