He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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