even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
