i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
