She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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