i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
