Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize