non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
i am craving dick and cupcakes
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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