I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
