5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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