3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
