if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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