Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
