just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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