I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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