I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
