The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
