I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
