I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
