I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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