brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
