How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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