ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
How's work?
Spinning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
