We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
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Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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