I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
