she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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