..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
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I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
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So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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