so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
