I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
