we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
