"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
