dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
