I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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