is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
