We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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