The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
