I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
this boner is exhausting
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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