I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
