I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You were trust falling into bushes
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
