Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
