Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
