there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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