His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
