Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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