well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
