how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
