Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
