redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
