Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
