We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
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just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in