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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (212): View more from New York

  We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(

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• (850): View more from Florida

  They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".

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