You work out of a Hotel?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks