Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.