Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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