Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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