If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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