I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
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Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
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She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.