Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...