D3 body, D1 cock
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.